Respect – A Guy’s Guide to Sex, Love, and Consent

In the wake of the #MeToo movement, the question of how we raise boys has been brought to a head. The men in our society are products of prevailing norms. Now, it’s time for change.

But how do you talk with boys about sex?

In Respect – A Guy’s Guide to Sex, Love, and Consent, experienced Swedish sexual educator Inti Chavez Perez turns to teenage boys who have entered puberty to talk to them about sex in a direct, no-frills, and hands-on way. No question is too big, too small, too taboo, or too embarrassing. What’s a dick supposed to look like? How should sex feel? Is pornography okay? What do girls like? What do boys like? How do I protect myself, and how do I say no? How do I set boundaries for myself and others?

In this trailblazing guide to educating teenagers about their bodies, their pleasure, and their sexuality, Chavez Perez lets guys know their desires are okay, and guides them to understand how to heed them in a respectful and fulfilling way.

Sweden has long been a pioneering nation when it comes to gender studies, and sexual education has been mandatory in Swedish schools since 1955. Respect was lauded as the modern definite guide to sex education for boys upon its initial publication in 2010 and now the topical nature of the book has prompted publisher Alfabeta to publish a new, updated edition in May 2018.

With Respect – A Guy’s Guide to Sex, Love, and Consent, Chavez Perez addresses the full gamut – from the very basic questions of a boy in his early teens to the more complicated matters of a young man on the doorstep of adulthood. This is the younger brother to Norwegian bestseller The Wonder Down Under, aimed at boys who just hit puberty and young men who want to learn more, to get the conversation going about sex, love, and consent. From Sweden with love, here is the perfect guide for how to talk about sex for guys – so that moms and dads don’t have to. 

“An excellent handbook that, with a matter-of-fact and easy-going tone, provides answers to the thoughts both boys and girls have.”
Svenska Dagbladet (SE)

“It’s like having a big brother”
Dagens Arena (SE)

Respect – A Guy’s Guide to Sex, Love, and Consent has a critical eye on the the male role and the unwritten rules that exist regarding what guys are allowed and not allowed to do if they wish to be seen as ”real guys”. By also focusing on the price guys have to pay for their masculinity, this book is especially suited to expanding the at times narrow male role.”
Politiken (DK)

“I think about what it’s like reading about sex in your teens. Guys and girls are generally just as curious, but they get their information from different sources. Girls read Kamratposten’s Body and Mind column, and move on to columns and short stories from women’s magazines such as Frida and Veckorevyn, and at the same time read about sex in novels. […] The selection for the opposite sex is neither as nuanced nor as wide. And yes, guys can read the same books as girls and sure, some of them do, but where are the modern texts written from their perspectives – that isn’t porn? Who answers future men’s questions about their bodies and sexuality, where do they find exciting reflections and down-to-earth advice on how to flirt, make out, feel pleasure, say no or come out? And not least – who helps them see through the myths and notions regarding the male role? […] Inti Chavez Perez book Respect – A Guy’s Guide to Sex, Love, and Consent is everything I’ve demanded above. Hooray! A modern and nuanced handbook for guys about sex, relationships, gender and equality, that I hope many girls will read too. […] This book is amazingly good. It’s frank, wise, and funny.”
Sydsvenskan (SE)

“Respect – A Guy’s Guide to Sex, Love, and Consent is open-minded, honest, queer […] There’s talk about the oppression of the pussy, gay porn, anal sex, the male role, about the fact that everything’s ok (even not liking sex at all) and lots about that ever-important thing: respect.”
Dagens Bok (SE)

“A fresh take on modern sex ed.”
Information (DK)

Respect – A Guy’s Guide to Sex, Love, and Consent by Inti Chavez Perez is delightfully refreshing considering what’s out there to read when it comes to sex. […] This is a book that deals with so much more than sex, but at the same it holds many practical tips. […] Many examples are taken from the author’s own encounters with teenagers in his job as a sexual educator. The style is matter-of-fact and honest, with room for both sensitivity and humor.”
Barnboksnätet (SE)

Inti Chavez Perez is a writer and sex educator from Gothenburg, Sweden. Respect – A Guy’s Guide to Sex, Love, and Consent was first published in 2010. It was lauded nationwide and was awarded Slangbellan, The Swedish Writer’s Union’s award for Best Young Adult Book. An updated edition of the book will be published in May 2018.

Learn more about Inti Chavez Perez